*please read with necessary pauses*
Never, had i put any thought, that one day, i will be putting socks on – – – – – to a man’s feet.
And i love the feeling so much (:
Never it crossed my mind, that by the age of 22, i will be lawfully, syari’e-ly handed over to a man – whose age is 22 as well. (My husband is couple months younger than me by the way. hihi.)
In a land far from home – Hobart, Tasmania, a legendary handshake that took less than 2 minutes had made us the clothes to each other.
“..They (your wife) are clothing for you and you are clothing for them..” (al baqarah 187)
Why clothing? No please, not because we’re going to wrap each other literally. I do believe we all have enough stock of jeans and leather for that.
We are clothing for each other, because husbands and wives protect, guide, assist, understand, defend, stand, and care for each other. Its like a jeans or leather jacket in a way, but more than that. Because they do that, not only to feed the hunger of responsibility, but they do that for the sake of Allah, and for the aim to get both of them, into Jannah.
My husband and i, at the first evening of our marriage, we agreed on one thing. That we kinda make it as the Primary Constitution of our marriage.
“give everything, expect nothing, wallahu ghayatuna.”
For the past 2 months, this is the thing, that has been whispering to my pair of ears every time i see flaws on him, and i secretly hope it is the same that goes to him when i display my flawful side to him. Even though thaaaatt – hoping – has somehow contradicted with the phrase “expect nothing” lol. :p
I learned that to a wife – giving – is the sweetest thing on earth, when it comes to her husband. Especially when the husband really is in need.
Well on the real ground, i dont really enjoy cooking everyday. And I am not into cleaning and packing so geek.
And i never, put socks on anyone, EVER. Except babies.
But i love doing these, for my husband. That excitement is out of nowhere just appeared, and i swear it makes my day incomplete for skipping those tasks.
My husband does not really enjoy wearing shoes. But in winter, of course every body needs that or those feet will turn blue. He is willing to try anyway. So to make it easier for him to adapt with this change, id help him with the socks everyday before he left for class.
Cheesy, i know. Little and insignificant, i know.
But through giving, even though of small things, the value of syukur is much more expressed. We thank, by actions, dont we?
“But as for the favor of your Lord, express it.” (ad dhuha 11)
I remember i used to be so happy and been smiling all day for being able to print, bind, and post a Thermal Textbook across 1500miles to my husband, when a day before he looked (through the webcam) so stressed for has wrongly printed a copy that he wasnt able to use. It was funny how secretly i was able to access his university portal account and identify which one is the pdf. Hehe.
its true they said, a wife can be a good spy. :p
And i felt so blessed to see him happy and stress-less again, when he received the book at his doorstep one day later. Thanks to Australian Post service.
Not to mention that i feel so blessed that my husband loves to help me with the dishes while i cook,
and makes the bed while i do the cleaning,
and does the laundry while i hang them.
“amal jamaie,” he said. Wow what a term. Hehe.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.: (ar rum 21)
No im not here to elaborate the story of my 2-month-old-marriage so people may think or say that we two are that so called lovebirds and so sweet or cheesy or something, no.
What i want to make-a-point here is, that when Allah promised he will place affection and mercy between husband and wife through marriage, it doesnt just happen by magic. Its not like, “okay so you’re now married, from now on you will be happy all time, no pain and no unpleasant feeling will sneak in.” Heck no. BIG no.
Affection and mercy, is something to be worked for, hardly. Continuously. Creatively. With knowledge and passion. With planning and determination.
Just because you are now halal to the person of your choice, it will not make your life like a fairytale, like how the movies love to make it looks like. Oh dont fall for that, i beg you. Fairytale only ‘exist’ in Jannah.
Watch the phrase, “..mates that you may find tranquility in them..”
So you see, we may, or may not. it all depends to us alone.
Nothing is automatically generated. Islam is a religion that teaches the followers to work hard, in order to earn the promised rewards. Manually generated, i would say.
That is why – in marriage, or in anything that we do, the right niat, the right ghoyah, and the right knowledge is crucial.
Everything is back to the Quran and Sunnah.
Islam has taught the believers to be the ideal partner to one another.
Well dont get me wrong. For being ideal partners, problems will not be gone.
Be married or single, life will keep throwing us lemons, and it never seemed to gonna get bored of that. But an ideal (*in the context of islam) partner, will be able to cope and enjoy the problems, with LOVE and AFFECTION. And make a cup of sweet lemonade or some lemon crumble out of it.
Marriage is one of the crucial stages of making changes in the community. Or even to the world.
A society that lives in harmony, consists of families that live in harmony, within it.
Home, where the real teaching begins and developed, where the children are shaped and designed, is the perfect place to instill the value of Quran and Sunnah. Is the perfect place to uphold the value of Islam ultimately.
Therefore, (ish dah macam buat essay jawab exam je) without sakinah and mawaddah between the husband and the wife, the family will not be able to provide a strong islamic surrounding for the children. And subsequently ok dah. ni dah memang macam essay jawab exam.
Just, work the best for our marriage. Learn from the prophet. Listen to the Quran. Be determined and be passionate.
We are building an ummah here. We are not just creating some small world between us and our partner, we are going to change the world to be a better place – and it starts from an ideal (*again, in the context of islam) marriage.
give everything. expect nothing. wallahu ghayatuna. (:
La hawla, wa la quwwata, illa billah.
sorry for the silence on the wall. Second semester and a new life phase was being pretty cheesy on me.
but im back on the blog.
Now, with a great imam by my side.
Hasbunallahu wa ni’mal wakeel. (: